Yes I'm talking money people. Makes the world go round eh?! Well at the moment my world's stopped turning!
The CSA, now that's an interesting system. One department has no way of communicating with another. There's anacronyms coming out of your ears and it's certainly not a "don't call us we'll call you organisation". I am right in assuming that in their lifetimes most people don't choose to have any dealing with the CSA, that's the way it should be. People only speak to the CSA when they are in need and it is truly necessary. You'd think they'd be more helpful.
My claim which has been in since February is "under investigation" - no one can even tell me what these words actually mean. I can tell you the results of those words though, hell yes I can, it means no money for Tabby B and I. A month I'm told and they might be able to release some funds, but that's not guaranteed. Crying on the phone to the CSA is not a good look people, not a happy end to a Thursday that I'd recommend.
I also have had a couple of lovely phone calls to the Job Centre this evening. No income support for me. So no money. No legal aid. No nothing.
I am not a "Daily Mail" single mum who feels entitled to numerous benefits and a huge amount of help from this government. I am a straight A student. I have never claimed a penny before. From September I am doing my teacher training and will then be working helping society for the rest of my life, educating the adults of tomorrow. I am not a sponger or a scrounger.
I do question today's society's viewpoints on single mums. 99% of us are working hard to bring up our children in very difficult circumstances. Why in the press are we vilified? Made to feel like we are taking money from the state? There are numerous (not all, but there a lots) of "Non Resident Parents" - ex's to you and me - living it up. Enjoying their money and their lives. These people have no negative connotations attached to themselves. Society does not view them as lower class citizens, women do not avoid them, friends do not tell them what they think. Entirely backward.
"Get a job" some of you will shout. I would. Unfortunately our country has pushed up the price of childcare to such a point that there is no way I could find a job that would even cover my nursery fees.
So back to square one. I don't want to moan. I am thankful for what I have. However being left with a tiny, ridiculous, minuscule amount of money after paying my rent (I won't tell you how much, about the same you'd spend on a Friday night takeaway) leaves me in a difficult position. Thank god for overdrafts!
The thing is I'm not just self-indulging. I don't want anyone's pity. There are hundreds if not thousands of families, some with one, some with two parents, who are struggling just as much. We all want the best for our children. We all work so hard. But sometimes you can have a period of time when it feels like you're walking into a brick wall, trying to smash through locked doors. Unfortunately I have no advice. No solutions. Just carry on. Hold your head up and keep going. I need a pep talk myself this evening. I hope that I can listen to this. It's all worth it in the end. Everyone has struggles, tests to get through. Every breath Tabby B takes helps me realise this is worthwhile, every laugh and smile ensures that I keep going.
Fight for what you believe in. Stand up for the people you love. Sometimes there's only you to battle through for them.